Saturday, April 30, 2011

I love garage sales

Yesterday, my sister Margaret and I went to a garage sale at a local church on campus. I had two dollars to spend, and it was spent well.

The blue bottle with the sun is going to be my new vase and the yellow cup my new pencil holder! And I got both of these for the price of $0.50.

Then, I picked up two Magic Tree House books that used to be my favorite when I was younger. That is some good summer reading right there and it was only $1.00.

So all in all I spent $1.50 which means that I have fifty cents to go on a shopping spree.

I love being a college student :)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Keep On Lovin'

I have been hurt by people that I love. I have been let down but those that I care deeply about.

After it happens a couple times, it feels as though you've gone numb. You don't care about others anymore because others didn't care about you. But what happens in the aftermath? We have two choices: we can give up and let ourselves be numb or we can forgive and gain something from the experiences of our lives.

"God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient." (Colossians 1:11)

Life isn't always perfect and we can't expect the people around us to be either. I believe that there is a place that I can go where I will be strengthened. We can't put all our hope in others; think of how unfair that is to have all those expectations placed on your shoulders. However, what we can do is realize that there is a greater strength within ourselves that is much more powerful than anything a person can ever give us.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14)

What I am beginning to realize is that I find my strength in God when I learn to love myself as the wonderful creation he has made me. So many times, I go looking for love in others to make myself feel as though I am worthy in the world's eyes. They are many times when I feel low because I have no one around me, and while it is important to have relationships with others, we need to realize that our self-worth doesn't come from our relationships. It comes from within, everything that God has already given us to become the beautiful people we are meant to be.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive and the Lord forgives you." (Colossians 3:13)

One thing you can't forget, after getting past the hurt and finally learning to really love yourself is that you need to forgive others, because I guarantee you would want them to forgive you when you mess up. Forgiving those that you have loved and been hurt by means realizing that we as humans are not perfect. It also means that you realize that you cannot rest everything on one person because that isn't where we are suppose to rest everything upon. When you can do this, you'll find that loving isn't so hard to do and keep on doing.

This is a lesson that I have learned today. That everyone around me can't be my crutch. We need to love others for who they are and love ourselves for who we are. That's good enough. God believes your good enough. And that's all that matters.


Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Semester That Never Ends

I have a week and a half left of college before I can bust open a can of bubbly (soda, people! honestly....) and say "Bon Voyage!" to my second year of college. As for now, I am reading books and writing essays. What a wonderful life. So, being the veracious readers that you are, here are a couple books that I am reading and am more than willing to share with you.

The first time I read this book was my freshman year of high school. I love this book with all my heart, and it helped me, being the fabulous plus-sized lady that I am, love myself for who I was. It's hysterically funny, and you will be wishing that Virginia Shreves was your best friend by the end of this book.

My mother just bought me this book for Easter because she is so brilliantly smart and knows that best gift to get me is a book. She also asked me what I wanted and I told her to go find this. Nevertheless! I also liked this book as well. Andrea Seigel has wonderful humor and it gives a wonderful perspective on family relationships.

Happy Reading to you all! :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

It's time to share

I'm so excited for my easter break coming up. I really need this one. While I'm taking a break from homework, I wanted to share a piece of poetry that I just wrote for my creative writing class. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. Comments always make me smile :)

I Remember, Mama

I remember twirling with the Rosas, Mama
            each of us rising up from the earth
            my petticoats spread out in full bloom
            just like my flowery friends
I remember how I hurt you, Mama
            stealing my petticoats from the closet
            knowing they were meant for Sunday
            knowing he would be mad
I remember the anger that night, Mama
            watching you fall towards me in synchronized grace
            with the white rubble of a broken wall
            guilt rose up within me
I remember how he cried, Mama
            limp in your lap while he begged for absolution
            you folded your arms around him
            and he pushed you down, Mama
            and you sunk back into the ground

I remember running through the fields, Mama
            surrounded by bright crimson Castillejas
             strangling everything around them
            pushing them back and killing them
I remember looking at the purple neck, Mama
            Daddy had painted it
            shoving his fingers into your soft flesh
            pushing you down
I remember picking flowers that day, Mama
            each delicate blossom begging for its life
            while we ripped them from their roots
            we took them from the earth
I remember when he called, Mama
             you pleading with him one last time
            while he scream through the phone
            ripping you from your roots
I tried to push up through the ground, Mama
            just like our flowers did
            but I couldn’t
            our flowers were limp in their glass shell
            their blossoms withered and black
I remember watching the snow fall, Mama   
            each flake a frozen droplet
            that had fallen from your face
            piling in heaps everywhere
I remember feeling so lonely, Mama
            running everywhere
            looking for the only friends I had
            wishing to see they faces
I remember brushing your tears away, Mama
            my little companions frozen
            into skeletons of what had been
            and I screamed in agony
I remember falling into your tears, Mama
            you and me falling in synchronized grace
            I wanted your tears
             to swallow me up
            and let me rot into the earth

I remember how spring finally came, Mama
            I sat upon the window sill
             to rise up from the earth
I remember that you grab my hand, Mama
            begging me to come
            but I couldn’t
            I hadn’t risen
I remember you picking me up, Mama
            my tears soaking your dress
            that was covered in flowers
            while you dragged me from my perch
I remember you setting me down, Mama
            letting my toes sink into the earth
            pulling my hands away from your skirt
            while you pushed me forward
I remember that’s when I saw them, Mama
            the Liliums were everywhere
            smiling at me,
            They wanted me to rise
                        Oh, how I wanted to rise, Mama
I remember the tears falling down my face, Mama
            sprinkling down like heavenly rain
            watering the Liliums pushing up in the earth
            telling them to rise
I remember how those tears made me feel, Mama
            they sprinkled down on me
            watering my soul
            whispering to me
                        They wanted me to rise, Mama
Then you grabbed my hand, Mama
            I looked at you
            you were watering your soul too
            I knew you wanted to rise
                        Oh, how I wanted you to rise, Mama
Now I know, Mama
            there was something deep within myself
            bursting through the earth
            unfolding into new life
                        and I rose
                        I rose with you, Mama

Sunday, April 10, 2011

All My Plus Sized Ladies

I am a proud plus sized lady. Not that it has always been that way. I have had my struggles. My Anger. My comfort food bonanza when I am mad about my size which is quite ironic. Obviously. But, through the roller coaster of emotions, the tears, and the the conflict within myself, I always emerge with a little bit more wisdom and a kick butt outfit.

One of the things that I find hard, being the plus sized woman that I am, is that it can be difficult to find stylish clothing. However, all my plus sized ladies, do not fear! I have found a safe haven- a place where I can giggle with insane happiness because the clothes are so beautiful and make me look like the goddess I was born to be.

Forever21 is now carrying plus sized clothing and have been doing so for a short time. I have been shopping at Forever21 since high school, when I was small enough to be able to wear a large, which is the biggest size they normally go up to. Now as a college student, not only I have gained knowledge but a couple of extra pounds, as well. I use the word couple loosely. Very loosely... so loose my pants would fall off.

Ahem, TMI.

So, the good news!

I have found a place to completely redo my wardrobe at a completely affordable price and I am ecstatic. Allow me to share some of my good finds with you.
 Cute, right?

But wait, it gets better...

Yea, they are fabulous. So fabulous that I am wearing them as I type this little blurp. 

Well, that is it for now. I have six books to read for classes this week and while I am an avid reader, I'm not too sure I'm digging all the page flips I'll be participating in this week. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

I Work Hard for the Money

As college students, we pay out the wazoo for our education. Some is covered by the government, some if its covered by scholarships, and some of it is covered out of the wads of cash in your pocket. Ha. Brilliant. Last time I looked in my pocket, all I had was a gum wrapper and beeswax lip balm. Therefore, I need a job. Hence the reason why I work at a library during the school year. However, when the second semester comes to an end and the college tells me to scat, the dough stops. No more nights of racing through the stacks looking for "the book," the one that will change your research paper forever. No more searching for articles that don't exist. I will miss putting the books back, though. I would alway come out with a good five books I would check out. But I digress. 

Anyways. College = need for money, which I don't really have. Money, that is. Therefore, I need a summer job. 

I got one. 

Drum roll, please.....

I am working in a hardware store. 

Yep, I did not write that by mistake. 

I will spend my summer working with my dad at a hardware store as a cashier. My dad called me the other day to talk about said job and he told me that I would have to take quizzes so that I could learn what they sell in a hardware store. 

"Dad, I know what a hammer looks like." 

My Dad's rebuttal was that while it was a start, I wouldn't be able to talk about 19th century Victorian Literature with the customers. 

I told him I was going to start a Jane Austen Book Club in the warehouse. 

So, my worries are over. I have a job. It should be quite interesting, watching the girl in skinny jeans and converse shoes run around looking for nails and whatnot. 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Duct Tape of All Duct Tapes

Young people seem to have an incredible fascination with duct tape, and why not? It's durable, it patches up anything, and it comes in almost any design you want.


This was one of the gifts I got from my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I mean what says I love you more than Hello Kitty duct tape?

I am ecstatic that I now have the means to tape my whole world with Hello Kitty. Notebook covers, boxes, splitting folders, my walls now all have the ability to be Hello Kitty-fied. Well, except the walls. I don't think housing or my roommate would be to happy with me.

I hope you all have a great Sunday.  I'm off to finally get some laundry done.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Art of Blogging

I have tried blogging before. I have tried to share my thoughts with the Internet world numerous times. Somehow, the burning desire (though I'm not really sure it's this intense) to let the world peek into my brain has been blown out. It must have been my mother. Blowing out my flame, that is. She says I have more productive things to do or that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. When I have my own house the dishwasher will serve two purposes: to wash the dishes and to be a make-shift cabinet for all my housewares. Talk about brilliant thinking. That's why I go to college.

And, that's why I can blog now without being told I'm not productive or worry about the stinking dishes. Instead, I sit in  class or at my job most of the day. When I'm not doing said activities, I am doing scholarly work such as working on a Beatrix Potter research paper or trying to understand the violence being used in journalism. Let me tell you, it doesn't get much better than that. Well, sleep would be better because I don't get any. The bags under my eyes look like they went on a shopping spree.

I also started a blog today because my good friend Sam told me she started a blog. Fifteen minutes ago. Since I am on a Facebook fast right now, I was feeling a little left out on the Internet. So, I am setting out to blog once more. Buckle in folks. This adventure is about to begin.